Light in the darkness

Greenfingers' family has been through a lot the past few months, cancer scares and cancer realities. And yet another cancer discovered yesterday in his brother. Hopefully nothing gravely serious but a shock all the same.
There has been blame on God which is a natural reaction. But someone reminded us today that if greenfingers' mum had not had her initial cancer diagnosis then they wouldn't have found the second, more serious cancer. If his brother hadn't had a reflux problem then they wouldn't have found the cancer. If his sister hadn't had her tumour then she wouldn't have shown the inspirational way that someone can deal with scary, uncertain illness by a total dependence on a loving, caring, strong God.
A woman who goes to the church I work for passed away from cancer last night leaving a husband and 3 young children behind, including a two year old son. No words can explain the heartache or reasons why these things happen. It has made me hold Acorn tighter today, hold on to her longer. Every day should be treated as a gift, every milestone a blessing. We were with greenfingers' family today and the joy and laughter and delight she brought to the uncertainty really lifted everyone. Again I am thankful for her. For the light and joy in her little body.

Tuesday 27th October (can't think of a title)

hmmmm how does one be thankful when they are lightheaded and a bit dizzy, queasy, snotty and lethargic? When they went to Dublin for the weekend and didn't get to see their girlie friends and anyone they did see they couldn't engage properly with? When their house is a tip and wrecking their head? When the weather is dull and grey and winter is approaching?
ehmmmmmmm.....ok here goes some positivity....
My daughter is not whingey and irritating like she was last week. She went happily off to creche this morning. It was bizarre because I dressed her in a pair of trousers that I bought for my niece 3 years ago which have now been passed on to Acorn. I never thought then I would be blessed to have a little girl to dress. I never felt particularly maternal or had a desire to have children of my own. I guess something changed along the way. I met the lovely greenfingers and knew that life didn't revolve around me and that it would be a positive thing to create our own miracle, an extension of ourselves, a child of God.
She is a joy, our little Acorn. Full of fun, of life. Adventurous, but not recklessly so. Loving but not clingy. Confident but still mummy's girl. Beautiful. Healthy. My darling girl.
It is hard to admit that I am doing a good job. I spend a lot of time looking at my failures in parenting. But greenfingers recently reminded me of how much love I have given her, and how much more I have to give. I must try and focus on that.

Right...off for a clean-up....

Tandem Cycling

After an epic two hour nap by Acorn (something to be thankful for!) which left me unable to do anything but relax on the couch with her while she snoozed on me-usually her naps are no longer than 40minutes- we went for our first tandem cycle down to the village to pick up a prescription from the pharmacy.
Greenfingers had fixed our new front facing child bike seat here (thanks to PS for bringing it down from the North for us) to the bike last night so today was my first test-ride. I had bought Acorn a Postman Pat helmet here and she was thrilled to wear it-as long as Mummy was wearing her helmet-not a Postman Pat one! And off we went, it was fantastic. Acorn chatting to herself, and getting all excited whenever she saw a "doggy". She adores all animals, has done so since very young. When she was born we had 2 cats and a dog, unfortunately since then one cat has disappeared, and we moved our dog to my in laws where she has tons of space to run about and other dogs to play with. Any mention of the "dat" distracts her from tears and tantrums (well most of the time!). So I made it down to the village and back, probably 4 miles in total. It was lovely to have her so close and so happy, as well as getting some exercise.
Tomorrow I hope to cycle to creche and pick her up on it. There is a nice hill to whizz down on the way home. Don't think I'm ready to cycle up it just yet though....

Hello blog world

Ok, so I've created the blog...finally.
Thanks to those of you who have encouraged me to start blogging, like my fellow Cork mums (you know who you are), to my special friend at the other end of the country (you know who you are), and to the person who suggested the blog title (you know who you are). Apologies to those whose suggestions I rejected...thanks for trying!)
This is designed to offer daily/weekly thanks (or whenever I get the chance!) for the little things of life. Hopefully it will also offer a window into my life and encourage those who read it.
Back later....